Is Your Coping Mechanism Becoming a Quiet Addiction?

Women up all night scrolling.

Let’s be real: life is crazy right now.

From the chaotic state of healthcare, school systems, and food quality, to economic uncertainty, broken relationships, and the constant stress of being a full-time working parent—our reality is heavy. And with so much pressure, it’s no surprise we all look for a way to escape.

Sometimes, that escape works—at least temporarily.

Whether it’s reading, scrolling social media, binge-watching shows, or overtraining at the gym, we’re looking for a hit of dopamine. Something to help us feel better. The problem is when these seemingly harmless coping mechanisms start taking over.

I know this because I’ve been there.

My “harmless” addiction was reading fiction—suspense and romantasy, to be exact. Sounds innocent, right? But it got to the point where I was skipping sleep, workouts, meals, and zoning out from my own life. I used it to escape the crushing pressure of running a busy medical practice and trying to maintain a passionless relationship. During this same time, I over volunteered myself in the community, leaving not time at home or in expanding my practice. Eventually, these escapisms became a substitute for connection, self-care, and purpose. Of course, volunteering fed into my desire to "connect", but it got excessive.

Thankfully, triathlon training gave me a healthier focus and outlet, providing me with a healthy goal and community.

I will never underestimate the power of a "coping mechanism" and how that outlet, which may seem benign at first, can easily crossover into to something unhealthy and dark.

When Coping Turns Into Addiction

The grey area of coping mechanisms is tricky. Unlike alcohol or hard drugs, it’s not as easy to recognize when things are going sideways. But here’s a clue:

If your go-to escape is starting to harm your health, your relationships, your work, or your daily responsibilities… it may have become an addiction.

Let’s break this down:

The definition of a coping mechanism

Psychological strategies we use to manage stress or negative emotions. They can be adaptive (healthy) or maladaptive (harmful).

the lists below are not "all inclusive" and can be moved to other categories based on individual opinions and experience.

Obvious harmful coping mechanisms:

• Alcohol or substance abuse

• Abusing meds (sleep aids, painkillers, etc.)

• Self-harm (cutting, scratching, trichotillomania)

• Pornography that’s non-consensual or compulsive

Grey area coping mechanisms (can go either way):

• Reading (yep)

• AI/digital companions

• Exercise (when excessive)

• Gaming

• Binge-watching

• Cleaning

• Casual sex exploration driven by loneliness or trauma

• Scrolling

Healthy coping mechanisms:

• Prayer or meditation

• Journaling or creative expression

• Volunteering or connection

• Laughter, dance, movement, and learning something new

• Massage and self-care

  
  

It’s the grey zone we need to talk about more.

Because what starts as “harmless” can become damaging over time—especially if it starts disconnecting you from your life, your purpose, or your people.

Are You Quietly Struggling?

If you’ve found yourself reaching for your coping mechanism more often—and noticing it’s interfering with sleep, your relationships, or your responsibilities—please know you’re not alone.

The first step is awareness. The second step is seeking support—whether it’s through counseling, a trusted friend, or a new program that helps you self-regulate and rewire how you respond to stress.

That’s why I created Get Your Spark Back—an online course designed to help busy professionals stop reacting to stress with unhealthy escapes and instead respond with intention, empowerment, and hope.

We all want to feel good, but we also want to feel like ourselves again. And that IS possible. You just need to first become aware of your behavior, observe how its impacting you and those around you, and ask yourself if it still feels good to you or not.

If your escapism is offering you a much needed break and you come back into reality feeling refreshed and ready... then well done! However, if your escapism is making you feel "bad" - then it may be time to re-adjust how you are coping.

In support of everyone quietly escaping the difficulties of life,

💛 Dr. Lexi